This morning as I got my AM meds together, a thought came to me. I need to be sure that I have a living will on file at the hospital. My sister, Amy, and my daughter, Renee, both know full well what my thoughts on this are, BUT, they would still be powerless if I don't get the proper documentation completed.
A lot of folks do not like to talk about death, or even think about it. I have a friend who totally refuses to discuss it at all. It's not something my family has a problem with, but, my dad was a heart patient from age 43, as most of his family, so maybe we are just a little jaded. I prefer to think of it as practical. Besides taxes, it's the only thing we can be sure of, right?
For myself, it's more like making sure that I am taking care of my business and making my own decisions, as much as I can. I do not want extreme heroic measures taken. I have survived two head on collisions, one of those inflicting great harm, but I was younger. As I near 50 and know that inevitably, there will be a major heart episode, I don't want to be on a respirator or feeding tube. And, while a transplant might become an option, I will not be pursuing that. I do believe in transplants and signed my donor card years ago, it just won't be something I choose for myself in the future.
Oh, don't think I'm giving up, far from it. I'll take my meds, stay on my diet, get as healthy as I can and want to live as long as possible, but when the time comes that my ticker has had it, I'm okay with that too and don't want to extend life with non-existent quality. As of right now, I have no reason to think I can't or won't live another 20 years, modern medicine is really something, and I have not suffered any heart damage, (i.e. dead tissue or coronary artery disease) at this point. I am extremely grateful for these facts.