Yes - today I think I feel a little better. That could be because I've been home for two days and haven't even walked out the back door - which means I've slept quite a bit. But, for right now, I have a little more energy and will probably do some packing.
I've struggled with a decision about moving for awhile - I have always planned to move into a small apartment somewhere when the kids got grown. Renee is out on her own, Lynn is still here, but he's refusing to even look for a job, which presents another problem.
I did the paperwork to start getting into Trevecca Towers in December. I will go from a 1400+ square foot 3BR, 2 Bath I cannot possibly take care of into a 600 square foot 1 BR, 1 Bath. I'll have a living room/dining combo and a small kitchen, which will be more than sufficient since I cook little.
The only struggle I'm really dealing with is what to do with my son?? We've struggled a lot the last three years, I put him in state custody for about 16 months until he turned 18. He got his GED almost a year ago, in July. He got a job in September, which he quit early November, and has not worked since. I told him over a year ago that when the lease was up here this month, I would be moving. Does he think I'm kidding? Does he think I'll feel so guilty that I'll stay here (which is where I'm teetering) knowing I cannot physically nor financially continue to keep this house.
I've tried telling him that if I dropped dead on the steps, which could happen any day, he'd only have the rest of whatever calendar month we were in to move out. Well, this is my mental struggle today. It's probably a good thing I feel some better so I can deal with this - set my move out date, and continue on.
I truly believe stress can and will affect your physical health in more ways than you will begin to know, until that stress is relieved and you feel it in your bones, the damage it was doing.
Two really great things about Trevecca - they have a work out room - I cannot yet, but I hope to be able to walk on a threadmill soon. The 2nd thing they have I can do, is walk in the pool. They have an indoor pool. I'm really looking forward to this since it will help me with mobility and motion and burning calories.